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Boo, choo, black smoke and the NCT

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  • Boo, choo, black smoke and the NCT

    The uncle and myself got chatting today about the state of the nation's younger drivers, and the obsession in the Midlands with "agri spec/felt spec" turbo diesel saloons.
    You know the type, slammed on ebay coilovers, 19 inch rims, Ebay LED bulbs, usually a ridiculous slogan printed on the front end rear windows, and that "choooooo" sound when they lift off.

    Now, all the above has been around in different interpretations, in every generation, so I'll accept it is a personal choice, based on the economy, availability of cars, current trends etc.

    But the black smoke thing.. Especially when it's so smoky it soots up the rear of the car.
    How on earth are they getting these things through NCT?
    Surely they're not getting them "mapped" before and after each test?
    I'm all for tuning a car, I've rarely left one standard, but unless you're drag racing or tractor pulling, no car needs to fog out so much "reek" to make power, surely?
    ​​​
    www.PatHoranMotors.com

    E39 M5, Mk2 GTI, Mk1 GTI, E30, Caddy vanyadda yadda

    Stupid questions are better than stupid mistakes.

  • #2
    All depends on what smoke they are putting out when revved at the centre as all they do is a bare smoke reading as far as I know.

    Over I have had diesel cars with no cat or DPF and there was never an issue, the reading was next to nothing.

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    • #3
      My G wagen bellows black smoke under full load, it has a modded fuel pump and hybrid turbo.
      It fails the smoke test miserably so I just disconnect the vacuum feed to the turbo actuator for the test and it passes no problem.

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      • #4
        There's a lad I know that has a straight through exhaust, but he takes it off, and puts back on the original one for the test, and then swaps back once it passes. I even think, it's a communal one, as in, his buddies uses the same exhaust when their test is due.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Neilo View Post
          My G wagen bellows black smoke under full load, it has a modded fuel pump and hybrid turbo.
          It fails the smoke test miserably so I just disconnect the vacuum feed to the turbo actuator for the test and it passes no problem.
          I'd understand that, my Range Rovrr classic is smoky under load, but I'd say your G isn't smoking while cruising?
          www.PatHoranMotors.com

          E39 M5, Mk2 GTI, Mk1 GTI, E30, Caddy vanyadda yadda

          Stupid questions are better than stupid mistakes.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Zoom View Post
            There's a lad I know that has a straight through exhaust, but he takes it off, and puts back on the original one for the test, and then swaps back once it passes. I even think, it's a communal one, as in, his buddies uses the same exhaust when their test is due.
            Would an exhaust change fix the smoke..?
            www.PatHoranMotors.com

            E39 M5, Mk2 GTI, Mk1 GTI, E30, Caddy vanyadda yadda

            Stupid questions are better than stupid mistakes.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Tristan View Post

              I'd understand that, my Range Rovrr classic is smoky under load, but I'd say your G isn't smoking while cruising?
              No it's fine normally, just full boost and load it smokes....especially when towing too.

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              • #8
                From the few I know of around here, most have the springs cut rather than cheapo coilovers, so I'd be interested in how that gets through an NCT when my previous Mazda failed on a "slightly spongey" brake pedal (it wasn't).

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                • #9
                  On any of the vw’s if you have a smoke map all the lads have figured out if you unplug the map sensor as it’s going in it doesn’t smoke 🤷🏼. All those bits fail loose springs unsuitable wheels etc but they just change them back once they get their cert. Up to the Gardai really after that!

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                  • #10
                    Great timing with this thread.

                    On my way back into work I met a Bora,slammed to the ground and the coal fired engine was obviously working fierce well as there was nothing but a filthy sooty cloud of smoke coming out the back of it.

                    The young lad behind the wheel didn't seem a bit bothered by it,do they actually like driving yokes like this,spewing out absolute sh!t?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Titan View Post

                      The young lad behind the wheel didn't seem a bit bothered by it,do they actually like driving yokes like this,spewing out absolute sh!t?
                      Unfortunately, I think a lot of fellas see the 'reek' as a bit of a badge of honour.

                      Possibly a hangover from the auld D-Turbo days of mechanical pumps but I think a lot of people associate lots of reek with a highly-tuned diesel. Obviously this isn't the case but that message hasn't quite filtered through.

                      I remember watching a video on High Performance Academy' s YouTube channel where they talk to a fella named Banks (renowned diesel tuner). He said that reputable modern diesel tuning usually aims for an AFR with minimal/negligible smoke even in reasonably high power applications.

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                      • #12
                        Not only do they like it but the also like to stick their faces behind the exhaust pipe and get a face full of soot at meets. It must be us getting old because I can’t understand it at all.

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                        • #13
                          Same as many people in this thread, I don't want to put people down for enjoying their cars but I really don't get this either.

                          I'm always glad to see people get enjoyment out of cars and I've a very open mind with most things but there's something about this aspect of car culture which just reeks (c'mon, reeks? Geddit?) of insecurity and a craving for acceptance into the 'in' crowd.

                          ​​​​​​

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                          • #14
                            Getting petrol the other day I witnessed 2 lads washing a white A4 in the manual car wash, taking care to do every panel bar the boot and rear bumper which were as black as coal from the exhaust. A badge of honour of sorts

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                            • #15
                              It's the automotive equivalent of being proud of your farts and shkidmarks
                              KK4 FC3S SE3P JCESE SA3R

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